This fellow wasn’t rude or abusive, just … almost unbelievably delusional and maddening. He called three realtors, of whom I was one, to give a price opinion on his house. He didn’t like the price I came up with. This was part of our conversation:
Him: You know that new construction around the corner? Those tall skinny houses?
Me: Yeah.
Him: How could those possibly be worth more than my house? My house is worth more than those, I’m sure.
Me: Well … those houses have twice the square footage of yours. They have three bedrooms, and two and a half baths, whereas you have two bedrooms and one bath. \
Him: But all the bedrooms are upstairs. I don’t like stairs.
Me: But you see, the bedrooms being upstairs isn’t an issue unless you have a problem with stairs. Of course, I understand that you’re disabled and that wouldn’t work for you. But a lot of people like to have all the bedrooms upstairs, as that gives a nice separation of public and private spaces. Plus … those houses are, as I’ve said, twice the size of yours.
Him: But it’s not just the inside that matters, is it? I have this nice yard, and a patio where I can barbecue.
Me: And those things certainly enhance the way you can enjoy your home. However, most people live inside their homes most of the time, so a larger house is worth more than a smaller one.
Him: Well, I guess I just thought this house would appeal to a nice older couple.
Me: At the right price, I’m sure it will.
Him: Oh, remember when you were here last time, you told me that most buyers will put a camera down the sewer line to see if it’s broken?
Me: Yes.
Him: Those other agents didn’t mention it. They didn’t think it would be a problem.
Me: Well, every single transaction I’ve had in the past five years has involved a sewer scope, so I can pretty much guarantee you that it will happen. The fact that nobody else mentioned it to you is a failure of diligence on their part, not an alarmist overreaction on my part.
Him: My sewer is working fine. If a buyer finds that it’s broken, I won’t fix it.
Me: So … you do understand that a leaking sewer is an environmental hazard that will kill a sale if you’re not willing to negotiate about it, right?
Him: I don’t care. It works just fine for me, and that’s what I’ll tell the buyer.
Me: OK … that’s probably not going to be a realistic position to hold, but if you decide to lose a sale over it, I suppose I can’t stop you, though I would strongly advise you against taking that attitude.
Him: Well, young man, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings or criticize you, but I have to tell you, the other brokers came in $40K higher than you did. They used comparables from over there in the Cairncross neighborhood.
Me: It doesn’t hurt my feelings that the other brokers you called don’t know how to analyze comparables. You can believe me or not, but — they’re wrong. They pulled information from a completely different neighborhood. As you can see, I pulled comparables that are within 10 blocks of your house.
Him: Well, I’ll say this for you … at least you were on time.
June 25, 2009 at 9:40 pm |
I think I’d much rather deal with this client than the one from your previous post, or that Buyer!
(hhm…maybe they should put a sewer scope up that Buyer and see if there’s a problem?)
June 26, 2009 at 12:55 am |
Oh I really want to wave the book of philosophy I was reading last week at this one. If this isn’t the collapse of objective values into meaningless relativism, I don’t know what it is. ‘it’s not just the inside that matters, is it?’ – my arse! These people are giving a rather bad name to humanity at the moment.
June 26, 2009 at 5:09 am |
Yipes. What a way to round out the week, eh?
June 26, 2009 at 5:34 am |
I can picture this guy saying “Oh, and the house has never been connected up to the phone service, I just pop down to the candy shop when I need to make a call — who needs to pay for their own line?”
June 26, 2009 at 5:36 am |
I am imagining the college where they train people to interpret the world this way. Obviously, this client graduated with honors.
June 26, 2009 at 7:44 am |
You know, David, perhaps it’s best if you aren’t selected. People who hire “yes men” get what they deserve.
June 26, 2009 at 9:23 am |
Amen to that, Stephanie. This guy sounds like he won’t be happy no matter what.
Dodge the bullet, David.
June 26, 2009 at 9:34 pm |
Part of being successful in a business is learning which customers not to serve. It’s a skill I never learned.
June 26, 2009 at 10:03 pm |
See, it’s the realtors with no moral fiber who should be hanging their heads in shame, David, not you. In six months time that guy with be shaking his head mutterin, “Damn realtor.” and he’ll never remember you told him the truth.
I agree with the others. Dodge that bullet.
June 27, 2009 at 3:06 am |
Good grief, this man sounds so much like my grandfather it’s amazing. He didn’t by any chance also do his own bathroom plumbing as well did he? I shudder at the memories of trying to get my grandfather’s home made shower mixer right.
It’s a shame this client didn’t correlate your punctuality and due diligence (i.e. professionalism) with the other realtors inability to keep time, discuss potential issues or compare appropriate properties for an indicative price (i.e. lack of professionalism). That being said, I agree with the others – you’re lucky to have dodged him. He would never have been happy and would have been impossible to enter into negotiations with.
June 27, 2009 at 5:52 am |
I listen to people all day. They only hear what they want to hear, won’t listen to another opinion, and are always right. It sucks.
I wish there were a deserted island somewhere…
June 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm |
Ugh, and to think someone may eventually buy from him. I’d hate to be that person!
June 28, 2009 at 5:27 pm |
He’s greedy. He would prefer not to listen to your clearly expressed and professional opinion on his home, just because someone else quoted him a bigger number. The fact that he won’t get that number is beside the point. Silly sod.
I realise that advising you to avoid such idiot potential clients would effectively reduce your pool of customers to about three, so I’ll refrain…
July 1, 2009 at 11:36 am |
He did sign with someone else, right? You don’t need more stress in your life. He is pretty delusional, though!
Sewer scopes? We here in the hinterlands have never heard of such a thing! Around here, you check to make sure the outflow is actually sent all the way back to the lagoon if you are out of town. If you are in town, people just assume that everything is copacetic.
When we bought this place, the day we came to look at it Jim had his coveralls so he could crawl under the house and look at the crawl space and the ladder so he could ascend into the attic and look around there. Our realtor thought that we were amazingly on top of things, and the seller thought we were certifiably insane but not dangerous.
July 12, 2009 at 4:03 pm |
I am sorry you are having to deal with someone like this.
July 13, 2009 at 11:47 am |
Yeah, well, at least he wasn’t rude. Maybe all those “Keep Portland Weird” bumper stickers have been working too well.
We’re in the process of looking for a house. I swear, your stories are running through my head the entire time! So far, no freaks, luckily.