… my mother telling me that my aunt with Alzheimer’s has taken to referring to her air conditioning as “the refrigerated radiator,” which is, I think, going to catch on in our private lexicon
… my giant idiot cat eating a rose and then thinking better of it, resulting in flowery spew all over my office
… my realization that all the cement contractors in Portland have incomprehensible accents
… my potentially having to pay a client $5000 for something that isn’t entirely my fault, but if it goes to court the judge will nail me because judges hate realtors
… my making the mistake of giving a critique to a friend who sent me a chapter of his novel, only to be told that “the people at Harvard” didn’t share my criticism, and that he would “take some consolation” from that fact
… my mild annoyance at being rudely awakened from an interesting dream by my clock radio playing a song I hate
June 19, 2009 at 10:57 am |
1) Ver’ cute
2) Only Dumb Daria!
3) Only to the untrain’d ear!
4) Ouch.
5) Well, your “friend” only proves the point that even Harvard can produce smut little twats.
6) What song?
June 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm |
6) Taylor Swift’s “Romeo”
June 19, 2009 at 10:58 am |
Shoot. I meant to type “smug.”
June 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm |
I think the original version was better, and I see that one of my readers agrees.
June 19, 2009 at 12:45 pm |
1) Me likey (I hear Harvard snobs are all over that nomenclature)
2) I guess a rose doesn’t always smell so sweet.
3) K
4) *Sigh* That’s never fun.
5) Great if he only wants to sell it to Harvard snobs, that will work wonderfully. If you can’t take criticism, DON’T ASK FOR IT.
6) My daughter (15 months) keeps changing my alarm clock for noxious alarm to radio, which is set on static. A song I hate sounds preferable.
June 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm |
Well, regarding #5, he didn’t exactly ask for it. It was one of those … “you can read this, if you have time, to see what I’m up to” kinds of things. I guess I just should have hushed up.
June 19, 2009 at 1:36 pm |
1) Yeah, I could see that one catching on. That one and her friend Syphillus!
2) I won’t even go there.
3) Yeah. Them and gardeners and pavers and, well need I go on?
4) You need to recruit judges’ spouses to the world of real estate so the judges would have a better view of realtors.
5) Yeah, I would question the “friend” status. Next time, just don’t do it.
6) I especially hate that when the alarm interrupts a good dream!
June 19, 2009 at 3:37 pm |
4) I agree. Nobody has any idea how hard this job is, unless they do it … or how underpaid I actually am. Sheesh.
June 19, 2009 at 2:12 pm |
“The refrigerated radiator”is something a person with all cylinders firing should be happy to coin. “Flowery spew” is almost as wondrous a phrase.
“Smut little twats” is worth saying again, too.
June 19, 2009 at 3:37 pm |
Yeah, I think Russ’ typo has entered “legendary Freudian slips” status.
June 19, 2009 at 7:40 pm |
1) Love it!
2) Rubberbands here.
3) What Corina said.
4) I can’t even read that without wanting to faint!
5) Has he stopped to consider the “people at Harvard” probably don’t care enough about him to be honest?
6) I’m not too fond of things that wake me up, in general.
June 19, 2009 at 8:38 pm |
2) Rubber bands??? ZOMG. That sounds dangerous.
4) Yeah, same here.
5) I think he hasn’t considered that they’re not people who make decisions about what will sell in the publishing world.
6) Me neither.
June 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm |
A friend’s cat ingested a rubber band once upon a time.
And the rubber band emerged where you would expect it to emerge — tentatively, but alarmingly –
– and my friend grabbed it saying “Kitty, what’s this?” and the kitty ran away and of course the rubber band…
…stretched and stretched some more and THWAP! recoiled and hit my friend right in the nose…
… of all the things that happen when you’re not there with a camera…
I am glad to report that the cat was fine. Still is.
June 19, 2009 at 9:32 pm |
For someone with a vomit phobia…
June 19, 2009 at 9:34 pm |
Also loving smut little twats.
June 20, 2009 at 8:05 am |
Hmnn. My turn I guess:
1. Thats priceless. I laughed like hell over that one.
2. My newest baby is a “freak” too, *sigh.*
3. You wouldn’t believe the carpet cleaner I hired not too long ago. After feeling like an idiot with many “I’m sorry, what was that you said? I didn’t understand,” I finally had to confess to him that I didn’t understand a damned word he said and that he needed to slow down speaking. It was a very difficult two hours let me tell you.
4. That really sucks. I hope things work out for you.
5. That guy needs a bitch slap. And an attitude adjustment (which I’m sure will never happen). What snobbery.
6. I agree with Shawn whole-heartedly!
June 20, 2009 at 9:10 am |
The refridgerated radiator is great, love it. And alas, I recall being given a friend’s manuscript to read once and making the mistake of thinking that she really wanted my opinion. And I was very kind. Still, that moment dated the downslide in our relationship. Methinks the reference to Harvard is probably more fictional than the pages you got given to read.
June 20, 2009 at 8:31 pm |
I found the source of the rubber bands and put them safely away. They didn’t hurt him this time, but who wants to risk it?
June 21, 2009 at 8:20 pm |
smut little twats is particularly good, given the actual meaning of ‘twat’ in British English…
June 24, 2009 at 1:10 am |
our demented patients leave their refrigerated radiators running all the time
June 24, 2009 at 1:37 pm |
No one could accuse your life of being boring.