1) I have a new client, a very nice young woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to racecar driver Danica Patrick. I noticed this about her when we first met, and didn’t think anything more of it. Today I showed her a house over in North Portland, and when we came out of the house, I noticed a horrible noise like an army of giant angry bees, pulsing all over the neighborhood.
“What the hell is that God-awful racket?” I asked, somewhat rhetorically (I am fortunate in that I don’t usually have people as clients who will be offended by my colorful colloquialisms).
“It’s Portland International Raceway,” she said.
“Are we that close to it?” I queried, amazed.
“Yeah, we are.” We stood listening to the din for another moment, and then she said, “That kind of makes me want to go over there and drive.”
Although I know she can’t possibly really be Danica Patrick, this remark was sufficiently coincidental that it freaked me out slightly.
I am now wondering whether as a followup to this anecdote, I should tell the story about my parents seeing a racecar driver beheaded at Portland International Raceway, but on second thought, that would be too grotesque, so I won’t.
2) Thanks to Amuirin, I have become addicted to “The West Wing”, which I am watching on DVD. I can already tell that I’m going to be morose when I finish the series, so I’m trying to dole them out carefully. This is difficult to do, though, when I can have as many as I want courtesy of the miracle that is Netflix. I think we should elect Martin Sheen to be the next president in real life. I’m not sure he could do a much worse job than the folks we keep sending to the White House. I mean, it worked for Ronald Reagan. And in real life, he has strong political views. So hey. I’d vote for him. Actually I would also vote for Al Franken. I think maybe I’d vote for anyone who wasn’t one of the two major parties, except a Communist or a Nazi or something like that.
3) My cat Daria P. Olka-Dot Pants has recently resumed her habit of showering with me in the morning; she goes through phases of wanting to do this. She doesn’t stay long, but she gets plenty wet. My mother, typically, is worried that somehow this will ruin my house. I don’t see how it possibly could (“What about seepage?” she said, to which I could not summon an adequate reply) but I realized I don’t really care that much. Poor cat — here she is, trapped indoors her whole life, completely at my mercy; if she wants a shower, she should have one. I’m pretty sure my carpet can stand a few damp pawprints on a daily basis. OK, and a few puddles on the floor. But still. It’s just water.
4) This morning, right before my alarm went off, I dreamed that a nuclear missile was headed right for my house. This wasn’t a bad dream.
October 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm |
I think Danica Patrick is awesome!
I’m with you on letting the kitty take showers with you, after all it’s not like any “seepage” would cause your house to fall down a hill!
October 11, 2008 at 2:43 pm |
1) Could be her sister. I have a picture of her on my computer if you want to check it out.
2) How sad are our choices this time? When did we go so far that we can’t stand up and say that we don’t want either one of the liars in there?
3) Seepage!? It might be a little odd for kitty to want a shower, but I doubt it’s dangerous.
4) Made me shudder.
October 11, 2008 at 8:15 pm |
I know how to let you know for sure you weren’t dealing with Danica Patrick. She is famous for trying to punch out anybody who irritates her. As she didn’t start trying to pound you to a pulp within five minutes, she wasn’t the real Danica.
You are, however, related to my wife, as we have observed before. When we watched live television, Mrs. Random was quite addicted to “The West Wing.”
October 11, 2008 at 8:16 pm |
When you’ve finished watching West Wing, instead of being morose, watch Sports Night. Which is not all about sports, and was made by the same guy, and was waaaaaay better. And I never watched West Wing with any regularity as a result, because I was way too ticked that he’d dumped Sports Night and let it die to go do West Wing.
You just want to be whatsisface, the guy who rode the missile in Dr. Strangelove. Was your dream in black and white? Like any dream, this could be interpreted literally or metaphorically, I choose metaphor — which would make it, truly, not a bad dream. KWIM?
I wish the cat would shower with me. I think. Maybe not. But you’re absolutely right, if Daria wants to shower with you what does it hurt? Sounds like a nice way to start the day.
October 11, 2008 at 8:24 pm |
Check to see if your cat talks with a Turkish accent. This would explain a lot.
October 11, 2008 at 8:24 pm |
http://www.moggies.co.uk/breeds/turkvan.html
October 11, 2008 at 8:49 pm |
I like to share my showers with someone if Daria wants to shower with her you definitely should let her.
I almost checked out a season of West Wing from the library yesterday to watch over the weekend. Instead I came home with the History Channel’s Complete Collection of The History of Britain. We’ll see how morose I become at the end of the weekend.
October 11, 2008 at 11:18 pm |
haha. Can we have a pic of soggy Daria? Now that I think of it, an actor is one of the only people likely to be elected outside of the parties, they not only the cash but a built-in public.
October 12, 2008 at 4:46 am |
Seepage. Next thing you know, you’re living in swampland. And it’s all your fault for letting the cat shower with you.
October 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm |
Wait — does your stated willingness to vote for “anyone not of the major two parties” mean that you’re not going to vote for Obama? (???) Just wondering…
October 12, 2008 at 10:55 pm |
Elissa — Well, I’ll admit I’m a little bit torn. On the one hand, I feel that any vote not for Obama will, by default, be for McCain. On the other hand, I genuinely do not believe in the two-party system any more, and while I’d probably rather have Obama, I don’t think the Democrats have genuine ideas for real change.
I’d like to vote third party, which would be in line with my conscience at this point, even though I think it’s a useless gesture. Then again, if everyone always thinks doing that is a useless gesture, we’ll never get anything different.
So I’m still torn.
October 12, 2008 at 10:57 pm |
Mr. Random — Bengals are also famous for liking water; the breed is half Vietnamese fishing cat. Sometimes Daria will tip the water dish over and roll around in the water on the floor, which is, of course, a lot more likely to cause damage to my house than her showering with me, so don’t tell my mom, ‘k?
October 12, 2008 at 10:59 pm |
Waxing — I’ll see if I can get a photo, though I’m not sure it would look like much … she has such a thick pelt that she looks a lot like a wet bear when she gets wet … she just looks kinda bigger and spiky, rather than looking wet.
October 12, 2008 at 11:00 pm |
Mr. Random – Are you saying I’m annoying, and therefore deserving of Ms. Patrick’s pugilism? I believe I may be offended. *hmmppphhh*
October 13, 2008 at 12:41 am |
#4 seems like it’s maybe in the realm of possibility.
October 13, 2008 at 3:27 am |
David,
You would probably be better off if Ms. Patrick merely punches you rather than running you over at 200 mph.
I started wondering about Mr. Patrick:
Paul Edward Hospenthal: c. 1966. A native of Tacoma, Washington, Paul is sixteen years older than Danica.
How Danica and Paul Met:
They met in 2002 when Danica was referred to Paul when she hurt her hip during a yoga session.
They became engaged on Thanksgiving Day, November 24, 2004.
Engagement Ring:
A 4 1/4-carat, emerald cut diamond ring. She doesn’t wear the ring while she is racing.
Danica, about the engagement ring: “I do think it’s like four and a quarter-ish. I didn’t want to know how much it was, I told him, “Just insure it, honey.”
Ages at Wedding:
Danica was 23, and Paul was 40.
http://marriage.about.com/od/sports/p/danicapatrick.htm
Their love story can’t be described as a “bodice ripper.” Perhaps it is a grill ripper.
October 13, 2008 at 6:19 am |
My bunny used to watch me get undressed to take a shower, and then flee in horror…
October 13, 2008 at 6:36 am |
Ah–you were in my neighborhood. Should’ve stopped by for some salmon.
Although I’ve never watched The West Wing (unlike everyone with taste, I suppose, I dislike Aaron Sorkin passionately, ever since Sports Night), I recently finished watching Six Feet Under on DVD, and feel a hole in my life that only the Fisher family can fill. It’s kind of pathetic, getting that involved in a TV show. I used to sit around, in between DVDs, wondering what they were all doing while I wasn’t watching them. I still think about that. And while Alan Ball’s latest, True Blood, is kitschy and kind of enjoyably bad, it’s still not good. Oh well. I’m happy that we had our time together, I suppose.
I was thinking your mood had improved, but then I read #4.
October 13, 2008 at 8:59 am |
1) What does it say that I have no idea who Danica Patrick is?
2) I’ve never seen West Wing, either, though I’ve heard of it. Vote your conscience. I shall do the same even though, living in Texas, it is unlikely to make a difference. But I’ll try.
3) I’ve had cats that liked water, but I don’t have one at the moment. If you ever bathe your cats, what’s the difference to the water when she showers with you?
4) How do you dream a nuclear weapon is headed for you? How would you know a nuclear missile is heading right for you? By the time you noticed it, you’d be dead (they detonate in the air, not on contact).
October 13, 2008 at 11:51 am |
Steph –
1) Frankly, I have no idea why I know who she is. It’s not the kind of thing I would normally know.
2) I think I will, though I’m still on the fence a bit.
3) I haven’t had any reason to bathe my cats, and can’t imagine what they’d think if I tried.
4) See, my dream is one that a rocket scientist wouldn’t have.
October 13, 2008 at 11:52 am |
Aunty — I loved me the “Six Feet Under.” I went through it earlier this year, and still miss the gang.
October 13, 2008 at 10:21 pm |
Nice to meet you my friend. I’ll be back. Am on vacation this week.