1) Some of you may remember a good day I had a couple of months back, in which I obtained a significant listing by myself. I had another good day on Sunday, and managed to sell it to one of my own buyers. Anyone who doesn’t work in real estate would think this would be cause for great rejoicing. Sure, it’s nice, and if it stays together, it will pay out a $33,000 commission. After paying the fees to the brokerage where I work, paying taxes, deducting what I’ve spent for advertising, and paying the percentage I owe to my parents (since the listing came from their farm, and the clients called due to their promotional work) I’ll net less than a month’s living expenses from this sale. And this is the first payout I’ve had in six months, so I’m still five and a half months behind. And all of this is if it closes. I could easily put in hours and hours of work, just to have it fail. That happens all the time in this market. I’m trying not to despair, but it’s difficult, especially since I just can’t seem to find any other kind of work. The supplemental work opportunity that came my way has so much competition that I can’t get enough of it to make much of a difference. And no matter how many resumes I send out, I can’t get any bites that would let me get out of this industry. I just don’t know what to do, especially since …
2) I’m experiencing a massive resurgence of my sinus-related facial pain/headaches, for what reason I don’t know. I think it may be seasonally-related, but I’m not sure. I am terrified that the problem has returned full force, permanently. I’m out of the habit of dealing with that kind of pain, and I’d mercifully forgotten how much harder everything is, how very much more difficult it is even to get through the day. I’d also forgotten how much it mentally confuses me … I have to be very careful to think everything through twice or three times, as my brain just doesn’t work properly with the distraction. I seem to recall that this happened last fall as well, and I’m hoping that it’s just the sudden weather changes we experience when the seasons turn, or that it’s allergies, or something. But I don’t know what I’ll do if it comes back. I don’t know how I’d manage to hold down a regular job, even if anyone were willing to hire me. It’s so difficult not to despair about this; it’s even more difficult since I’ve had a reprieve, a taste of what my life is like without this continual physically and emotionally exhausting struggle. On every possible level, I can’t afford to have this problem come back. If I believed there was a God, I’d be praying for all I’m worth — just for mercy, just for a little mercy. I was so appropriately grateful when I was given mercy, I swear I was. I didn’t take it for granted. Whoever or whatever makes these decisions … please, don’t snatch away the small haven of healing I had. Or at least don’t do it while I’m still broke. I can’t deal with both at the same time, not right now, not while I’m still in the middle of trying to reconstruct my entire personality.
Give me a break, willya?
March 13, 2008 at 5:02 am |
Hang in there. I know your sinus pain. Weather shifts cause mine every time. Miserable.
March 13, 2008 at 6:48 am |
I don’t have a break, but if I did, I would break it with you and give you a share.
March 13, 2008 at 7:18 am |
A more serious answer. Things often look better to people outside a situation than to those who are dealing with the details. In this case: 1) what looks like a “big sale” is much less when the “fine print” is examined and 2) what looks like a solid breakthrough may turn out to be less solid after a while.
Even so, one day does not make a tuna fish.
March 13, 2008 at 8:53 am |
First, congratulations on (most likely) selling that house and to your own buyer, no less! That is wonderful. It should help you continue to land very high-end properties. That you could sell such an expensive house so quickly in today’s market says a lot about your abilities.
Second, if I understand how the system works, I see another major silver lining here: don’t you pay, like, half to the house until your annual desk fees are paid off? And if so, wouldn’t a deal like this one take care of the whole year in fell swoop? So that all future transactions will be much more lucrative?
March 13, 2008 at 9:59 am |
I’m praying for you, David.
March 13, 2008 at 12:00 pm |
Shawn — Thank you.
Elissa — I think there is a very, very good chance that the deal will fail, and that’s not me being pessimistic; that’s reality.
As for the desk fee thing … in my case, the answer is no, due to the way my business interacts with my parents’ business. My percentage on these types of deals is always the same. The only way I make more money is if I have a client who is completely unconnected from their client base or their farm. Weirdly enough, the small condo sale I just had with Luciana is almost as profitable to me as this huge sale, because Luciana is strictly my client. This arrangement is fair, for reasons too complex to go into here. But the long and short of it is that while this sale may result in future business,as a sale, it’s not particularly lucrative, and doesn’t do me much good. Which doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for it — I am, hugely,enormously.
Modesty — Yes, you’re right; the inside view is always different.
Angela — I hope it’s the weather. I really, really do.
March 13, 2008 at 4:38 pm |
I suppose you have tried sex. And no,I am not crazy, atleast not more so than usual.
March 13, 2008 at 7:28 pm |
for what little it is worth, I send you my best, David.
March 13, 2008 at 8:39 pm |
I would think that being where you are is one reason for your sinus pain. However, I’d trade sinus pain (or any other pain) to be where you are. So I guess some suffering is involved.
Can they not fix that with drug therapy?
March 13, 2008 at 8:40 pm |
Well, I hope it’s just the weather that is causing this and that you will find a way to control it so it doesn’t make you miserable.
Yesterday, I was looking up jobs online. Not that I’m looking at changing jobs right now, but I thought it would be interesting to see what was out there. The Hershey Company is hiring. FYI.
March 13, 2008 at 10:10 pm |
Vroni — It would be fun to work for Hershey … and at least for me, no temptation,since I hate their chocolate.
Pan — What kind of drugs did you have in mind? And believe me, you wouldn’t trade this kind of pain to live on the West Coast. 24/7/365, debilitating, for 23 years, except over the past months when it’s been better for the first time in my life.
Lee — Thanks. I appreciate it.
AJ — That kind of requires someone to have sex with.
March 14, 2008 at 1:00 am |
Understanding and empathy I offer in plentitude. Also, have you tried nasal irrigation? I’ve not done the whol Neti pot thing, as touted by Oprah, but part of Wu’du involves sniffing water into the nostrils and snorting it back out. It sounds disgusting, and is yes, uncomfortable, but I notice my nasal and eye allergies do not bother me near as much anymore.
March 14, 2008 at 3:50 am |
{{{David}}} *winds in between ankles, purring loudly*
March 14, 2008 at 10:50 am |
I’m sorry it’s back, David. I hope it’s only temporary and that it leaves you alone soon!
I know it makes everything worse and the timing of it this time ’round is horrible, not that there is ever a good time to suffer the type of pain you describe.
I don’t pray. How about if I keep my fingers crossed for you?
March 14, 2008 at 11:03 am |
Tag! (Sorry…)