Sometimes what we think we’re supposed to teach is not what we should be teaching. Maybe Julio has no idea of how to choose a book. I’ve seen this with my granddaughter. I took her to a library and she would choose a book that was completely inappropriate. Obviously she had some basis for grabbing something that made “sense” to her, but that didn’t mean it was sensible.

Thinking about it, it might be useful to provide Julio with about a dozen books (if this is at all practical–which may not be the case) and let him choose from the dozen or so, and let him change his mind in the middle of his choice, and so on. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I think it’s worth contemplating.

In fact, this may have some relevance to your trouble with women. You seem to say I’ll choose this women because she pays attention to me or because she doesn’t pay attention to me or whatever, but does your choice in relationships make any more sense than Julio’s choices in books?

On the other hand, this comment may not make any sense at all. So why are you paying any attention to this comment, when you get so many comments.

My Uncle George, who is an obscurely renowned composer, told me once that a problem in modern music is that there is no particular reason to put one note after another, so composition becomes a purely arbitrary process. He was talking about John Cage. My uncle seemed fairly comfortable with this, which is perhaps why he won a MacArthur award. On the other hand, he was married several times, which may indicate he had no particular reason for choosing one wife over another. I will not put any more words in this comment.

I think the litmus test is simply reader reaction, but I find that some writers aren’t willing to accept that something they’ve written is unbelievable, because they’re so focused on its having been based on reality. It’s my opinion that making unlikely reality believable as fiction is one of the hardest things writers ever learn to do … it’s the writer’s equivalent of learning to sing pianissimo high notes.

I sure as hell can’t do it, but I do know when I’m reading something that hasn’t pulled it off.

http://ritereading.blogspot.com/2008/03/war-stories-tim-obriens-post-traumatic.html
Writer Reading: Tim O’Brien’s Post-Traumatic War Memories

Pan — I didn’t say that fiction shouldn’t be based on reality, or that people shouldn’t write what they know; I said you have to be careful when you do it. Smiler’s comment about her journal is a perfect example of what I mean. Obviously many things translate well to fiction — but many things do not; extreme events, extreme coincidences … sometimes things that seem obvious in real life, but need a lot of explanation to be believable in fiction. The question isn’t whether something really happened, but whether it’s believable. Real life is, frequently,unbelievable.

I’m always intrigued by the “write what you know” advice … I think it would be more accurate to say “write what you understand.” Often,the things we “know” are the things we understand the least, because we’re too close to them; we don’t see them clearly enough to write about them well.

Vroni — I tend to think there’s no such thing as truly accurate memory, just as there’s no such thing as absolute truth.

Rose — Nice to see you!

Corina — Yeah, I’m hoping the fact of my continuing to be there will speak more loudly than the fact that I don’t want to be.

Square 1 — I have such admiration for people who homeschool … it’s more than a full time job, and harder, I think,than teaching a roomful of kids, because the demand on your attention is so continual and huge.

Regarding the ADD … this is just a thought, but it’s a thought I have frequently. I sometimes wonder whether ADD, especially in young kids, is simply an indication of a different learning style. Considering how kids are naturally wired,and the highly unnatural way we school them, it’s no wonder that kids whose minds aren’t naturally quiet and confined become restless and frustrated. I wish that we understood kinesthetic learning styles better than we do, especially for small children … our primary methods of teaching are visual/auditory, which just doesn’t click for kinesthetic learners. The question, of course, is how else things like reading and mathematics can be taught. There must be a way,though … we just haven’t figured it out.

About Julio’s book … he chose it himself, which the program likes to encourage the kids to do. The strange thing about it to me was that he didn’t necessarily seem disengaged from the book, although it can’t have been all that interesting to him. Personally I found it boring as all hell, so next time perhaps I’ll gently point him toward a different part of the room. There was a book about trains that I kind of hoped he’d choose.

About your second point, I discovered how “unreal” true events can seem once they’re put down on a page through all my years of journaling. Too often, I would start writing about the latest events and eventually question myself as to whether I was exaggerating events, which of course wasn’t the case. I used to joke that some events in my life read like fiction, but I know better now.

I certainly believe you when you say you didn’t enjoy your session with Julio, but have to say you’re either really into doing things that you hate doing or you’re more tolerant than I am because I wouldn’t even consider signing up to that sort of program. Just don’t have the inclination and certainly wouldn’t have the patience either. But it looks like you have a natural talent for it and you probably have the ability to make a bigger impact than you even realize.

Rose

xo