1) If you’re having really painful achy joints and your mother finds a heating pad and brings it over to you, it will help. It will also make you more popular with your cats than you ever dreamed you would be. You will then have four heating pads instead of just one.
2) It’s very interesting to have a fever of 104. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this before in my adult life. I think that’s a temperature at which I should by rights have been delirious, but I don’t think I was; it was more as though my brain and body had gone into fourth gear … my pulse was very fast, and thoughts were coming so quickly that I couldn’t sort them out properly, although the thought process itself was perfectly coherent. I did have a suspicion, though, that if I’d tried to speak, it wouldn’t have come out correctly. So I didn’t try.
3) The amount of sweat resulting from the breaking of such a fever is nothing less than astonishing. Sheets, pillowcases, and two bath towels, all wringing wet. And of course changing the bed linens is exactly what you feel like doing after something like that, right? Right.
4) If you have an illness that involves sudden onsets of symptoms, and you have any question in your mind about what might happen next, you should assume the worst and lock yourself in the bathroom, just to be on the safe side.
5) But if, like me, you figure out #4 just five seconds too late — another benefit to being a homeowner is the ability to do emergency laundry in the middle of the night in the comfort of one’s own laundry room, without violating “after 10 PM” noise regulations.
October 22, 2007 at 10:22 am |
For this one, I must extend my deepest sympathies. But for the grace of baggy pants and pure good fortune, I would have walked the path of number 5.
People keep making me think of reposting things. And, then, I look back on them and think they were neither well written nor insightful in the first place. It was the comments that made them fun.
October 22, 2007 at 10:30 am |
I hope you’re getting loads of fluids, David. Dehydration is dangerous and could happen very quickly in your condition.
October 22, 2007 at 10:36 am |
Mr. Hand — I have to admit, I thought of you in the throes of my suffering. If I were you, all things considered, I wouldn’t take that as a compliment.
Shawn — Yes, I’m being very careful about that, and sipping constantly. It’s hard to force fluids with an ouchful stomach, but I’m trying anyway.
October 22, 2007 at 10:41 am |
I have been wondering how you’re doing. I’m glad to see you are still among the living.
I’ve had a fever of 105 as an adult. Not a pretty sight. It feels like shit.
I know about the heating pad and cats. I use one regularly for my back. I am quite attractive to the kitties when I use it.
Continue to get better!
October 22, 2007 at 10:45 am |
Well now, I’m curious. Just what were you thinking of me?
October 22, 2007 at 10:50 am |
While extending my deep and profoundest sympathies, I am awed at how you can still find humour in the situation! And you tell us you are not delirious?
October 22, 2007 at 10:52 am |
Mr. Hand, you are so self-centered. I said, on David’s blog that I was thinking of him … DAVID … not YOU!
Although I have questions for you too, Mr. Hand.
October 22, 2007 at 10:54 am |
I guess I’m not reading too well tonight, am I? Geeesh! I need to get sleep. I haven’t slept well lately. Excuses, excuses!
October 22, 2007 at 11:00 am |
No no no. David said that he was thinking of me.
I was hoping it was sexual except I don’t want any sick sex with him.
October 22, 2007 at 11:02 am |
Oh. And now look what happened. AJ made a perfectly good comment and we’re both completely confused and muddying the waters. Ack blat ick.
I’m not reading well either. Or…not all the way through the comment thread before replying. Maybe this will make David feel popular though. He is you know. I checked.
October 22, 2007 at 11:21 am |
Yeah, I can undertsand you not wanting to have sick sex with David. I mean I so get that, Mr.Hand.
October 22, 2007 at 11:23 am |
Rest assured, Mr. Hand, that I was thinking of you only in a scatological sense.
Hmmmm. Maybe that’s not really reassuring. Never mind.
October 22, 2007 at 11:25 am |
And thank you, AJ, for noticing my (possibly delirious) continuing good humor. Because there’s nothing funnier than emergency laundry.
October 22, 2007 at 11:42 am |
Apropos to nothing, why do I spell undertsand like this? Always but always.
October 22, 2007 at 12:11 pm |
I don’t know if doing emergency laundry can be described as funny, David, but you did make it funny to read about.
October 22, 2007 at 8:47 pm |
OMG, that sounds awful. The flu? I had a fever of 105 back in 1997 or something and had to go to the hospital. It disappeared as mysteriously as it had arrived. Hope you feel better by the time you read this!
October 23, 2007 at 2:34 am |
Wow, the last time I had a fever that high I got pregnant. (I had been trying for over a year and the illness I swear kicked my ovaries into ovulation mode without the need of fertility meds) If your breasts start being tender and you start being really tired I’d look into that.
October 23, 2007 at 2:48 am |
Bibliomom officially wins for best comment,and also best sneaky support for Mr. Hand’s continued assertion that it is I,and not he, who is supposed to get a sex change operation.
October 23, 2007 at 5:26 am |
Things I’ve Learned Since Yesterday:
1. I’m not the only sicko out there.
2. M. Rochester can be very funny.
3. Not everyone in the world can be up front.
4. Some things just aren’t worth it.
I guess I should go learn some more practical things.
October 23, 2007 at 5:47 am |
You are not allowed to die before I do. I feel fine at the moment; I am just setting a general policy. People younger than me are not allowed to die before me.
If you die before I will do I will see to it that:
1)You are punished severely.
2) You are never allowed to do it again, or the punishment will be capital.
This goes for everybody else, also; so pay attention.
October 23, 2007 at 6:01 pm |
The greatest sign of illness that you have described here is your propensity to think of Mr. Hand when in extremis. Stop it. He’ll only break your heart.
October 23, 2007 at 6:50 pm |
I was thinking seeing pmousse’s shoulder as a cloud was a sign of further goneness.